Memory Loss or Time/Focus?

There are times that I worry about my memory. Not that I dwell on the potential loss of memory, but the thoughts about this subject will float through my mind from time to time.

I still have pretty good short-term memory, but I assist myself by writing down lots of things, so I don’t forget. My long-term memory can be good at times, and not so good at other times. I can see a two people who I haven’t seen in decades and instantly know one, but not the other. Or, it might take my mind three or four days of searching to come up with a name for the face. Maybe my mind has reverted back to the speed of an old Commodore 64 computer? Has my “processor” slowed down?

It’s not like I go home to the wrong house, or get lost at any time, I don’t. I remember dates, numbers, places, etc.

During the life changing weeks leading up to my heart transplant I was given so many types of medications, I was in a coma, and I coded over a hundred times that blanked my mind totally of the events during that time. Well, maybe not 100%, but at least 99.75%. I can remember a few tiny fragments of time.

I’ve tried to rationalize this a bit. Maybe my brain was “rebooted” during all of the “codes” I went through? My ICU nurses later told me I was called “Shocking Man”, because they were constantly zapping me back to life with the AED. Surely, all of that power, that electricity could have done something to my mind? How many Joules can your mind handle safely?

Or, maybe it wasn’t a reboot at all, but more like my mind was run through a “defragmentation” process, to clean up and discard all sorts of small memory fragments?

I simply don’t know for sure.

For now, I’ve settled on these two items …… TIME & FOCUS!!

The people, events or things that I am slow to remember are mostly from a long time ago. I think over time and way too much information these items are buried so far back in my mind that I can’t instantly recall them any longer. Time is part of the issue.

The other part is certainly a lack of focus on some things. Since my transplant, I have noticed that I focus on what I need to, to stay alive and things that are of the utmost importance to me,. My health, my diet, my meds, my family, my close friends, etc. I no longer sweat the small stuff, therefore I don’t FOCUS on the little things, small details, insignificant events.

Hopefully, I’ll never have dementia …….. or it won’t get any worse!

Now, where was I?

Memory Issues???

About DAP

I am a heart transplant recipient and these are my stories and thoughts. My desire is to assist others pre or post heart transplant in anyway possible. Please feel free to contact me if you have a question.
This entry was posted in General, Heart Transplant and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Memory Loss or Time/Focus?

  1. Allie says:

    I am also having a lot of problems with memory, but mine is with the short term. My social worker says that there is research going on and they think it might also be from the heart/lung machine during surgery. I am also having trouble with focus. I just need this to get back to normal before I get back to school. The one nice thing that came out of this is I also don’t sweat the “small” stuff anymore, which I always used to pay close attention to details-so that is a huge relief!

  2. Rachel says:

    My doctors warned my husband after my heart attack, bypass that I may have some brain damage because I was shocked a couple times. I don’t think I have any problems but I’m a blonde so there are some issues anyway : )

  3. Pingback: I Forgot What? | My2ndheartbeat

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