As a heart transplant patient, I’ve found that my nerves or nervousness is always near the surface.
During my first year post transplant, the nerves were on the surface. Every little issue, ache, pain, odd sound, out of “spec” vital reading seemed to be cause for some internal alarm.
As time goes on, we at least put a small layer of epidermis over these nerves and it takes more than a simple ache or pain to ring the internal alarm bells. But, not much more.
Those internal alarms are there for a reason. We have fairly strict criteria for calling out transplant centers if we become ill. If your temperature is X, then call. If your BP is X/X, then call. If your heart rate exceeds X, then call. And, so on.
I’ve been cruising through life for a good while now without much nervousness and then on Friday morning ….. BANG …….. a major gastrointestinal issue. Major for me anyway. At first the thinking was major nausea from my immunosuppressants. Then I noticed a slight increase in my temperature and heart rate. Most (normal) people would never see these changes, but we take and record our vitals so often that it’s easy to see changes. Day two had me feeling somewhat better, but my nerves were on HIGH alert. Day three I felt better than day two, but then had a spontaneous “episode”, after which I felt much better.
This morning, I’m almost back to normal. At no time did I come close to the mandatory calling numbers, which is good. But the past 3 days have been un-nerving.
Maybe, in a couple of days, the skin will start growing back over those nerves.