“Is It Worth It?”

As I volunteer and speak with people who have very recently had a heart transplant or are waiting on the UNOS list for a new heart, and at times their family members, I have been asked this very complex question a number of times. “Is it worth it?”

While it is a simple question, it can also be quite complex in my mind. The simpleton part of me could scream the answer to it quickly …… “Jesus, Mary and Joseph …. YES, it is worth it!! Life is worth it!! Spending time with my family is worth it!! Breathing, laughing, smiling is worth it!!”

However, before I can blurt out my simpleton answer, my mind takes over and it becomes a deep philosophical discussion between the person I’m speaking with and myself. Usually the men want numbers … statistics …. on a scale of 1 to 10, or give me some percentages. What can you do, what can’t you do? I’m like this, I think men are wired this way. He want to know the averages, the horsepower, times, lengths, numbers, numbers, numbers.

Those of the fairer sex are usually more spiritual in a sense, and / or they want to know more about how we feel, what the emotional journey is like and “is it worth it?”

These philosophical discussions can leave me drained at times. Tears barely held in check as I reflect and think back at my own thoughts, fears and emotions immediately after I regained consciousness, post transplant.

In both cases I’m as honest as I can be ….. it is a journey filled numbers, but at the same time it is also a journey of emotions, and lots of them. A journey of our God-given spirits, and the spirit of our donor as well. Simple ……. but oh so complex!

IT IS CERTAINLY WORTH IT, even though there will be some bumps in the road along the way.

Damaged Heart

About DAP

I am a heart transplant recipient and these are my stories and thoughts. My desire is to assist others pre or post heart transplant in anyway possible. Please feel free to contact me if you have a question.
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