A Loss – A Hole in My Heart


The title, “A Loss – A Hole in My Heart” is not a joking matter for a heart transplant patient. In this case, it is a proverbial hole, but the pain is very real.

“Fill your life with love and bravery, and you shall live a life uncommon.” – Jewel, Life Uncommon

In my last post, about a week ago, when I wrote, “Look For Trains” (click on link to read), I didn’t know what the outcome was going to be. I spoke very briefly about a family member who was in an ICU at that point. I was positive the outcome would be good, I had faith, I had hope.

Sadly ….. and I mean very sadly, I have to report that my Mom passed away the other day following surgery and events that she could not over come.

As Jewel wrote in the quote above, my Mom had filled her life with love and bravery and she did live an uncommon life. She was simply a wonderful person.

I wrote this the day after as I tried to come to grips with my loss ~ My Mom passed away yesterday. She was the spirit, the glue, the soul of our family. Our goal is to honor her for the rest of our days in any way possible and carry her goodness forward!

The week has been a whirlwind of activities of emotions as we celebrated her life and have begun to grieve.

At times this week, I had strength I didn’t know existed. Other times I’d lose it just by looking at someone or by way of a simple question or a distant thought. There were lots of people I knew and lots that I was supposed to know but the years, the wrinkles and the blank spots in my mind have washed them away.

 There were tears and laughs as we remembered and we celebrated her life. My niece put an awesome slide show together, with music that featured 150 pictures from 2 weeks ago, all the way back over 85 years ….. raw memories surfaced and sleep was difficult to come to me many of the past few nights.

My family and my close friends lifted me up with their prayers and their support. They kept me going at times when it would have been easy to simply shutdown. These are truly AWESOME people!

Below is the earliest picture I have of my Mom. She is on the right with her Mom and her baby brother, some 80+ years ago.

My Mom

Mom, I love you and may you take a well deserved rest now. God Bless You!!

About DAP

I am a heart transplant recipient and these are my stories and thoughts. My desire is to assist others pre or post heart transplant in anyway possible. Please feel free to contact me if you have a question.
This entry was posted in Heart Transplant. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to A Loss – A Hole in My Heart

  1. Heartbeat,

    I’ve been away on vacation and just now saw your post about your mom. My sympathies to you and your family during this time. Stay strong my friend.

    The Sheepdog

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s