Against The Wind


Against the Wind ~ Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band ~ Watch it here ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcDCvQbOdig

At times, I look at many parts of this song as being my pre-transplant life. Read the lyrics and I’ll explain a bit at the end of the lyrics ….

It seems like yesterday
But it was long ago
Janey was lovely she was the queen of my nights
There in the darkness with the radio playing low
And the secrets that we shared
The mountains that we moved
Caught like a wildfire out of control’
Til there was nothing left to burn and nothing left to prove
And I remember what she said to me
How she swore that it never would end
I remember how she held me oh so tight
Wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then
Against the wind
We were runnin’ against the wind
We were young and strong, we were runnin’
Against the wind
The years rolled slowly past
And I found myself alone
Surrounded by strangers
I thought were my friends
I found myself further and further from my home
And I guess I lost my way
There were oh so many roads
I was living to run and running to live
Never worryied about paying or even how much I owed
Moving eight miles a minute for months at a time
Breaking all of the rules that would bend
I began to find myself searching
Searching for shelter again and again
Against the wind
A little something against the wind
I found myself seeking shelter against the wind
Well those drifter’s days are past me now
I’ve got so much more to think about
Deadlines and commitments
What to leave in, what to leave out
Against the wind
I’m still runnin’ against the wind
I’m older now but still runnin’ against the wind
Well I’m older now and still runnin’
Against the wind
Against the wind
Against the wind
Still runnin’
I’m still runnin’ against the wind
I’m still runnin’
I’m still runnin’ against the wind
Still runnin’
Runnin’ against the wind
Runnin’ against the wind
See the young man run
Watch the young man run
Watch the young man runnin’
He’ll be runnin’ against the wind
Let the cowboys ride
Let the cowboys ride
They’ll be ridin’ against the wind
Against the wind …

Before I got sick and my life path changed so dramatically parts of this song were true. I worked hard, played even harder. I wasn’t actually drifting through life, but I was flying along at break neck speed and, as I look back …. “like a wildfire out of control” or “Moving eight miles a minute for months at a time” …… “Surrounded by strangers, That I thought were my friends”.

As my heart attack hit and the weeks that followed unfolded, perhaps in my unconscious state ……. “I began to find myself searching, Searching for shelter again and again”

Jump ahead to my recovery period after my heart transplant … “I’ve got so much more to think about” …..

“Deadlines and commitments” (Gotta take my meds and see my doc’s on time)

“What to leave in and what to leave out” (Gotta watch the diet closely)

But this line ~  “I wish I didn’t know now, what I didn’t know then” ~ haunted me for a long time. I knew virtually nothing about heart transplants when I woke up in that hospital bed in the middle of a chaotic ICU. The days that followed were very difficult, learning things, that would help keep me alive, at a rapid pace. There were days when I truly wished that I didn’t know now, what I didn’t know a few weeks earlier. It took me weeks to fight through this and embrace my “new” life. I asked a lot of questions ….. why? why? why? At times my emotions were out of control, I’d lose my faith and gain it back an hour later …… then I realized that I’m still alive and that “I’m older now, and still runnin’ against the wind  ~ I think we’ll always be running against the wind in some manner. We all have issues we deal with, we all have our own demons.

May your run ‘against the wind’ be an easy one!

Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band

About DAP

I am a heart transplant recipient and these are my stories and thoughts. My desire is to assist others pre or post heart transplant in anyway possible. Please feel free to contact me if you have a question.
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