Against the Wind ~ Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band ~ Watch it here ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcDCvQbOdig
At times, I look at many parts of this song as being my pre-transplant life. Read the lyrics and I’ll explain a bit at the end of the lyrics ….
Before I got sick and my life path changed so dramatically parts of this song were true. I worked hard, played even harder. I wasn’t actually drifting through life, but I was flying along at break neck speed and, as I look back …. “like a wildfire out of control” or “Moving eight miles a minute for months at a time” …… “Surrounded by strangers, That I thought were my friends”.
As my heart attack hit and the weeks that followed unfolded, perhaps in my unconscious state ……. “I began to find myself searching, Searching for shelter again and again”
Jump ahead to my recovery period after my heart transplant … “I’ve got so much more to think about” …..
“Deadlines and commitments” (Gotta take my meds and see my doc’s on time)
“What to leave in and what to leave out” (Gotta watch the diet closely)
But this line ~ “I wish I didn’t know now, what I didn’t know then” ~ haunted me for a long time. I knew virtually nothing about heart transplants when I woke up in that hospital bed in the middle of a chaotic ICU. The days that followed were very difficult, learning things, that would help keep me alive, at a rapid pace. There were days when I truly wished that I didn’t know now, what I didn’t know a few weeks earlier. It took me weeks to fight through this and embrace my “new” life. I asked a lot of questions ….. why? why? why? At times my emotions were out of control, I’d lose my faith and gain it back an hour later …… then I realized that I’m still alive and that “I’m older now, and still runnin’ against the wind“ ~ I think we’ll always be running against the wind in some manner. We all have issues we deal with, we all have our own demons.
May your run ‘against the wind’ be an easy one!