An Emotional Time, Times 2

“Operator, oh could you help me place this call, You see the number on the matchbook is old and faded …” ~ Jim Croce, Operator

The past couple of days have had some emotional times.

As a lot of people in the organ transplant community know, there are currently about 115,000 people in the United States on the “waiting list” for a life saving organ transplant and about 19 of those people die every day while waiting. Yesterday, I knew one of those 19 people …… may “DJ” rest peacefully in God’s arms.

Folks, this is why we NEED more people to register as organ donors. These numbers aren’t made up, there are people dying daily while waiting for an organ!!

Today was a different event. To me it was more of a personal emotional loss and what happened reminded me of the Jim Croce lyric above.

A little over a month ago I completed a thank you note to send to my donor family. (You can read the thank you – Five Years – Giving Thanks to My Donor Family ) These thank you notes go through our transplant centers, to our local “Organ Procurement Organization” (OPO), to the donor’s OPO, if out of my local region, and ultimately my donor family.

In today’s mail, there was a letter from my local OPO addressed to me. The note inside was not what I had hoped for. I was told that apparently my donor family had moved and had not updated their address, thus my latest thank you was “undeliverable” and would be held for my donor family in case the address is updated in the future.

To say I was sad, is an understatement.

I felt like I had lost someone who was EXTREMELY important to me. Even though I don’t know my donor family, I have always held hope that we might meet or at least communicate in some degree. In my mind I have a connection ….. my borrowed heart has a connection with this family, and I felt like I had lost them forever.

At least I felt I could write to them and, they could read my thanks, even if they didn’t feel like responding back to me.

For a while today I felt like I had lost all hope …… then I remembered my “Daily Insight” from earlier today …..“As long as one heart still holds on, then hope is never really gone.” – Garth Brooks, The Change.  And I also listen to Jason Mraz, “I Won’t Give Up” while at the gym today.

While I am bummed, I had a little chat with myself …. and I’m NOT giving up and I still have HOPE!! Sad, yet VERY determined

God is my beacon and he will show me the path ….. and I realize that, at least for now, there is some reason …. timing, circumstances, family issues, etc ……  for this to have happened.

Regardless, this does NOT and NEVER will change the PURE THANKS, GRATITUDE and GRATEFULNESS that I feel for my donor and my donor family. I will continue to keep them in my daily thoughts and prayers.

Life will go on …… prayers will continue.

Maybe Jim Croce’s “Operator” will help me …………. or a mail carrier.

The address is old and faded …….



About DAP

I am a heart transplant recipient and these are my stories and thoughts. My desire is to assist others pre or post heart transplant in anyway possible. Please feel free to contact me if you have a question.
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6 Responses to An Emotional Time, Times 2

  1. giggles says:

    I am sooo sorry. This makes me sad too. i know how much you wanted contact. Prayers and hugs my dear friend.

  2. wendyjean56 says:

    Thank you for sharing your emotions. It truly means alot. I am sorry for both of your losses. I promoted your story on twitter because I believe it is that important. “stories that matter, in their own words: an emotional time #donatelife #donevida”

  3. Pingback: Imprints On Our Hearts | My2ndheartbeat

  4. seemeye says:

    Sorry you are sad.

  5. Pingback: If a tree falls…… | My2ndheartbeat

  6. Pingback: 4,000 Days of Gratitude, Hope and Faith | My2ndHeartBeat

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