First, I want to apologize if I have seemed “off” (more than usual) the past month or so. I am dealing with something internally and have found out over the years when I come and write here, it has a very cathartic effect on me. So, if this seems like a rambling message or rant, or whatever it turns out to be to the reader, it will hopefully be helping me in the long run. Thank you so much and hopefully I can sing about this from the roof tops in the weeks and months ahead.
“Everyone has 3 lives: a public live, a private life and a secret life.”
I’ve been in mental turmoil for a while. I’m hoping that typing away on my keyboard will alleviate some of my turmoil and emotions.
Prior to my heart transplant my public live was small and my private life was much larger part fo who I am. The secret part has always been there, even though these days I forget much of it.
Since my transplant, my public life has grown a LOT, much to my family’s chagrin ….. you can see a lot of my journey right here on these pages ….. along with social media posts …… I have put myself out there because of God’s grace and the heroic actions of my heart donor I have lived to see over 10 additional years of life and if I can help one person on a similar journey, then I will do it. Thus my journey has been pretty public.
“There are some secrets which do not permit themselves to be told.”
~ Edgar Allan Poe
I have a secret that I’d love to tell my family and friends, scream from the roof top, print on these pages, but like the quote above ……. I don’t think it can or should be told right now. And, I hate keeping secrets ….. it’s Christmas time …… a time for Secret Santa’s, secret gifts and the like. So, as my grandfather used to tell me …. if you have a secret it should never, ever leave your lips.
“Measure your success not by the things you collect, but by the lives you affect.”
~ Joubert Botha
I dislike anonymous communications, but I did receive one a while back that was filled with a lot of unverified data. If verified, it would be fantastic ….. but, if this data turns out to be untrue, and I had already told and raised the hopes of my family and close friends and the universe – I think it would crush or at least sadden many of them. Lives would be affected not only with my family/friends, but perhaps with others as well. I ask God each day to allow me to touch people’s live in a POSITIVE manner daily.
“He that can have patience can have what he will.”
~ Benjamin Franklin
Then there’s the “being patient” side of this entire deal. Usually, I’m a very patient man, but this whole thing is trying my patience. Every day I am asking God for patience …… and I know that I have waited a LONG time for this type of blessing, and all I need to do is wait a while longer. Everything that happens in life, is with God’s timing. We can’t always force things to happen.
“Writing about anything that matters can be cathartic.”
~ Alice Sebold
Just writing and posting this I feel better already ….. I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and may God Bless you always.